According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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