Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
