In America we eat man semen.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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