i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
