She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
