I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
