TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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