Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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