i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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