It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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