Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
