My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
