I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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