Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
