But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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