if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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