the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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