He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
