have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
