I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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