bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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