GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
In America we eat man semen.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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