It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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