Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
