i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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