we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
