As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
