It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
