I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
