U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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