): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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