she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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