Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
