tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
