been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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