well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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