Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
