Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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