the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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