So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
