dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
