pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
