Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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