NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
