Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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