I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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