WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
