Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
tell me about the eggs
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