I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
