The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
