so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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