Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
