My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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