After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
