God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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